I’m finally finding a minute to write…life has been pretty busy, since college got out. I had one day to move my stuff home and unpack, then I started babysitting full time for 3 days. Today was my last day, before I head to camp. Although I am sad to part games of tag, super soaker fights, hours of Candy Land, and an excuse to watch little kids shows and movies, I am not going to miss the wiping butts, being covered in oatmeal, when the baby sneezes while I am feeding him, or the two fat lips that I got yesterday, while I was playing with them. It was a good experience and I got more attached to the kids that I thought I would, but babysitting full time is nothing I could see myself taking up for an entire summer.

            I am very excited to head down to camp for the summer. I love youth from 4^th grade on up and the camp setting. I’ve wanted to do this for so long. My parents seem to be having a harder time parting for the summer. I definitely didn’t expect this. I am the first one to head away from home for so long, but I didn’t think it would matter that much to them. I am looking forward to growing, being stretched, and allowing God to work in and through me in news ways.

I will write you or call you back on my breaks.

Hmm...so I knew that it had been a while since my last update, but I didn't really realize how long. I thought it might be a good idea to let people know that I am alive. I've been keeping pretty busy lately. School is good aside from a prof that scares me a little...or a lot. Hahaha. There is so much I could talk about, and so much that I could tell you, since my last post....

...For some reason I am so not motivated to write on here though. I have started I don't know how many posts, and could make my way through a single one. Lately, I feel like the internet communication world is so impersonal. It is so easy to hide behind a computer screen. I love you all and want to be involved in your lives. I have so many things that I would love to share with you, and so many things I want you to share with me. Black and white letters are not the way that I desire to communicate. I just have a desire to have so much more personal, real, and deep relationships with people. I feel like I can't have that personal relationship right now, when I am trying to direct this post at such a vast quantity of people. I want to see your faces and hear your voices. I really want to know what it up in your life. This is just not the means that I am drawn to at this point. I have time to hang out with. I want to spend time with you. For those of you who are further away like Wil and Krista, send me and email or give me a call and let me know what is up. Everyone nearby, send me an email or give me a call so we can get together connect in person. (I can be a tricky one to get a hold of...so the best way to get me is at my school email: nicole_j_toering@cornerstone.edu or AIM: randomtoering...I check my other email too and us MSN IM still, but those two aren't in my profile) I want people to feel connected with me, not my xanga posts. I want people to know my true heart, not those few thoughts that I write on this site from time to time. Though they may be good thoughts, they are part of something so much bigger. I know that your thoughts are part of something so much bigger too, and I want to know you, not the person that you appear to be from a few occasional pics and black and white letters. I love you all, but I want to tell you that in person, so you can see it in my face, hear it in my voice, feel it in my embrace, and know it through my actions.

So here's what I'm thinking will be a complete post this time. Just getting back into the swing of things at college. So far none of the classes have killed me yet, and my profs all seem pretty cool this semester from what I have seen so far. I'm loving my new roommate too, as I mentioned already. She has one of the most amazing voices that I have ever heard. This weekend was tons of fun. I was so glad to hang out with my college friends again.

God is continuing to teach me more about himself this semester. He is revealing in so many different ways how perfect His timing is...far better than my own or anyone else's. I am learning to trust Him more and more through it. It is so easy for me to develop the mentality that I can take on what I feel I can handle or figure out and give the rest to God. But God wants all of my life, not just pieces of it. It isn't that hard for me to trust God, but surrendering control is a different story. Surrendering has become easier for me as God continues to show me that His timing is far better than my own and His plans are far greater than the ones that I have for myself.

I'm keeping somewhat brief cuz I have homework to do, pizza to order, and games to play.

Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are now for what you could become. -Anonymous

Ephesians 3:20-21 Now to him who is able to do exceedingly abudantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to him be the glory in the assembly and to Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.

So break has been awesome! I got a week left, so I need to get on hanging out with those people that I haven't caught up with yet. I've been staying really busy over break, but it was still relaxing.

Christmas was wonderful. I loved starting it by going to church this year. I wish that every Christmas started that way. I got a lot of good presents. New Year's was awesome too. I had a great time hanging out with everyone and standing in a corner thinking that I was actually playing Halo, until I finally let up on the controls and realized that I was watching the wrong screen the whole time, and the guy I was actually watching kept walking and shooting. Yes, guys you may laugh at me now, but wait...next time...I will watch my screen and be better than Joe himself. My b-day was also good! I finally learned how to play Euchre thanks to Jessie, Savannah, and Krista. Watch out people! I won a game! My short attention span will never allow me to be a truly great player though. I got a new digital camera. It is a really nice one. I will have to take some pics when I am out with people tonight and put them up. I went to a cool little event at the art museum downtown with some C-stone people, but I never took any pics.

Well, for now, I am off to to get some stuff done at home, since I haven't been around the house much lately.

Over break, I began asking myself if it was possible to love people too much...if there was a point where I cound genuinely care about and love everyone too much (there is reason behind these questions that I will explain if you feel the need to know). It was one of those ones that you come across right when you need it most. Ephesians 5:1-2 (Message)- "Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagent. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that."

If you always do that which is common, you will never do or be anything better. -Michael Ferris